I Wanna Be A Grown Up Again

I normally stay as far away from mirrors and cameras as I can. I hate the way I look.

Ok that sounds a lot more dramatic then it really is, but I haven't liked the way I look for the last couple of years. Since I gave birth to my son really.

I don't want to see the extra pounds I gained and never really got rid of. The lines and bags under my eyes. How when I look in the mirror and don't see the cute 20 something woman my husband fell in love with, and instead see my mother.

I don't have a lot of time for myself anymore so I don't get my nails done every week anymore. I don't do my make up on a daily basis, my hubby and co-workers are lucky if I do it once a month. To say I've let myself go is an understatement.

I started wearing body spray years ago, back when I used the corresponding body wash and lotion. I still use scented body wash, and couldn't do without my scented lotion on my desk, but no don't use all three together every morning anymore.

I started thinking a few months back that I haven't had a bottle of perfume in years. That kinda floored me because I always wore perfume growing up. I had my everyday going to work stuff, and then different ones for at night and going out.

How is it that I am going on 33 and no longer own a single bottle of perfume? This is just wrong and needs to be corrected!

It’s also time to get my hair cut! Gone will be the hair down to my waist. Instead I will be sporting sassy new shoulder length hair that I can actually do something with. I have been blessed with very thick, easy to manage hair, which grows fast. So I share it. Once a year or so I donate my hair to Locks of Love. I've done it almost every year since I was a teenager.

Is it something I am going to continue to do? I'm not sure. It really is a commitment. After my hair grows out of its short sassy style I tend to lose interest in doing things with it. I don't have the time. I end up just putting my hair in a pony tail, or pulling the sides up in a clip. A few weeks ago I bought a couple of head bands. I couldn’t stand them growing up and thought I would give them a try again as something different. They weren’t horrible so I was wearing them nearly everyday. Everyone told me how they great it looked; they loved my new hair style.

Then one day last week I ran to the bathroom to quick throw on some makeup and got a really good look. I looked like I was 5 years old. I was putting on makeup because I was surprised with an interview with someone for the open position in my department. HR finally put the ad in the paper and we have had lots of interest. We are very selective so the applicants only get an interview with my manager and me after a rigorous vetting process. My manager forgot to include me on the meeting request so I had 5 minutes to make myself look presentable.

I take the interviews very seriously because this is someone I will be working with constantly even after they are done with training. I am also of the mind set that this is really going to be their first real impression of my company. Most of the applicants have worked in the industry long enough to know my company by reputation if nothing else, but this is their first real experience with us. Maybe it is just me. Maybe most people don’t think that way, but I do. I care. Anyway, that was a wake up call for me. It made me realize how little attention I have been paying to my appearance lately.

We are going to be filling the position left vacant by the death of my supervisor also. When my hubby asked what we were going to do with the position a few months ago I could tell he was asking me if I thought I had a chance. At the time, I told him I didn’t think so. I didn’t think I had the experience they were looking for and all the internal politics that would take place if that happened.

Then the Vice President mentioned that they have some ideas for what do to with the position, but didn’t give any details. I would love to think that I am going to be considered for the position, but I’m not sure. Do I think I am capable of it? Absolutely. Does the Vice President, Treasurer, and so on love me and my work? Why yes they do. But we are making so many changes to the department it is hard to be sure.

All that lead me to take a good hard look at myself and the image I am presenting. Does it fit with the image the position and company should present? The answer I came up with was no. So I am making changes. Not only because I for work, partially, but not only. I want to look in a mirror and see me not my mom, like the way I look, and feel good about myself.

So here is a plea to you. Any suggestions on a nice perfume? Something readily available, I work close to Chicago, but live in a small town in the middle of a cornfield. Not outrageously expensive, but not a Walgreens special either. Not too heavy, but a good everyday, going to work kind of perfume. And please don’t feel limited to just making suggestions on perfume either. It has been a long time since I have gone shopping or done things for myself.

I will be getting my hair cut next week or so and will post before and after pictures once I do.