Blogging

I think reading someones personal blog is like reading their diary. You are reading their inner most thoughts and feelings. You get little glimpses into their lives, you don't always see the whole picture, just little snatches in time that are captured and frozen. It is also just their side. The person they are writing about has the option of commenting on the post though. I am talking about blogs like this, not the ones people write for entertainment or publication. I have no problem with blogs like that, I read several everyday.


In my case, it is what I am feeling at exactly that moment, right or wrong. I write as a way to cope. It is my way of analyzing and understanding my feelings. It helps me understand what is going on and allows me to see if I am being irrational. I don't write for my readers with very few exceptions. This is my space to write what I want when I want without worrying about offending someone. This is my form of therapy.

It is for that exact reason Hubby and my best friend don't read my blog. They know I write one, but understand and respect that it is my space. They know that if I want them to know what I wrote about that I will tell them about it. We have a conversation about it and they express their thoughts and feelings. People like Barista, who I have come to think of as a friend comment on my blog, others email me to express their thoughts. Either way is fine and I appreciate their insight.

I know I am putting my diary out for the world to see. It is a choice I made when I created my blog. I put my thoughts and feelings out there and refuse to take a post down once I post it. It is for that exact reason I don't post everything I write. Some things are just too personal. Somethings I don't want anyone else to comment on or discuss.

My blog is not my way of keeping the world updated on my life, it is my journal. My way of keeping sane. So if I have offended you at some point it was not my intention, but I refuse to change it.

Yay! More Training

I have a short early morning training planned for the department
tomorrow. We have an hour and a half to cover three topics. Boss Lady
had me set the itinerary, create the handout material, and exercises
for the associates since this is a hands on training. This is not the
first time I have done these things, but it is the first time without
any support or input from her at all. She didn't even reviewed the
adgenda before I sent it to print. I finalized the material late this
afternoon and received the printed material about an hour before I
left.

I have trained a lot in the last year and know the key to a good
training session like this is the prep. I went down to prep the room
we will be in and found that someone scheduled a last minute training
until 5 PM. He has the room after us tomorrow as well. I went back to
my desk to finish prepping the material and realized I forgot to
create a document. Twenty minutes later I sent that to the local
printer and made the thirty copies I need.

Tell Boss Lady I am going to drop off the material and check the room
on my way out. We chat for a few minutes and then she drops the bomb.
Our IT support staff will be sitting in the training and so will the
VP, Senior VP, and Teasurer. Ummm, ok.

Get down to the training room to drop off my stuff for the morning.
The guy left his stuff all over. I can't test the projection screen
because his stupid laptop is still hooked up to it. Damn it! I have to
assume it works. Clean and organize the room the best I can before I
turn my attention to the computers. I hard reboot half the computers
because his people are still signed into them but I don't care at this
point. I mean this is just rediculios. One of the other computers I
boot up to test displays an error message, a hard drive failure is
eminent. Really? I don't need this shit. Next two computers boot up
nicely. Third one, black screen. Check all the connections, moniter is
functioning, reboot again and still nothing. Can I catch a break here?
No, IT is gone for the day. They don't start arriving until half an
hour before my training starts.

I'm going home because there is nothing else I can do tonight. I hope
to have a relaxing night and to sleep well so I will be ready to takle
anything else that might come up tomorrow. Wish me luck.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Interviewing Woes

I can't believe I keep forgetting to tell you.
Boss lady and I have been interviewing people for an open position in
my department. We inteviewed enough people for the position that I
write notes of my impressions once I am done with the interview just
to keep them all straight. Last week, or was it two weeks ago? We
interviewed a lady I loved! She would be a perfect fit. Enough
technical experiance to need a minimum of training, very personable,
independent enough not to need baby sitting; she hit all my key
points. After I interviewed her it was time for Boss Lady go in to
form her opinion. I went home since it was late and hubby had band
practice. I was tempted to call Boss Lady on the way home and tell her
to hire this women right now, tonight, I want to start training her in
the morning. Boss Lady came by my desk the next morning as soon as I
got in to find out my opinion. She was tempted to call me after she
finished the interview because she felt the same way.

The director of our new system put the same system in at the company
that was her last long term position. This is a company that my
company have a very symbiotic relationship with; they buy from us and
we buy from them. We gave her name to the director to see if he
recognized it, but he never responded, so we assumed he didn't. We got
approval from the powers that be, and had HR get started on checking
her references. Since we have such a great relationship with this
other company, HR called them also even though it was three positions
ago. Damn good thing they did. Turns out not long after the other
company implemented the system, there was a scandal in the AR
department. We knew some of this from the director, but it was kept
very quiet. Yeah, so this lady that we were so excited about; not only
was she involved, her and her mother-in-law were two of the
instigators.

The funny part of all this? During the interview she constantly
referred to her job at the other company and how highly they thought
of her. She also mentioned to both of us that she was the person
responsible for applying my companies payments. She was obviously
aware of our relationship, but for whatever reason didn't think we
would call them. So let the interviews continue.

The temp who all but called me a liar is going to be let go. There
have been enough problems with his work and attitude that we decided
that he is more of a hinderance then help. I was able to reach in my
file of people we interviewed and find someone that we liked, but
didn't feel would be a good fit for the position we interviewed her
for, but she would be great for this other position. So we are putting
in the request and hope her references check out.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Hair Update

I look in the mirror and see a stranger. I am still really upset by
how short it is vs what I asked for. Leaving that aside, I had a lot
of reactions from people at work. My hair is the latest gossip I
guess. Every one is so used to seeng me with long or shoulder lentgh
hair after I've donated it, that this caused quite a stir today.

I had several people that heard others talking about my hair or seen
me walk down the hall stop at my desk to comment on it. They are
people I say hi to in the hall or see in the elevator, but don't
really know or work with. The extra attention feels pretty good
because everyone has such positive things to say, but it also makes me
more conscience of how short it is. Adding to it is that I didn't do
anything with it today.

I woke up 15 minutes after the time I normally leave. Since my hair
was washed three times yesterday, I didn't wash it today before
running out the door. I washed it in the shower before leaving for the
salon, they insisted on washing it again at the salon, and I washed it
again when I got home yesterday. So out the door I went with my new
slept in hair. I didn't even run a brush through it before I walked in
the door at work. It does get points for that at least.

I had a few people tell me they liked it, but I could tell it was more
the obligatory nice then the genuine nice. It was mostly from the
people who loved my hair long and threatened to cut it off for
themselves though. There were more compliments where they were so
shocked you could tell didn't realize what they were saying or seeing.
My favorite one, that makes me smile every time I think about it came
from my twenty something coworker as she was walking in the door. When
seeing me walk down the hall, she first had to call out my name to
make sure it was really me, then said 'It actually looks good!' I
laughed so hard, you could tell she didn't mean it the way it sounded,
she was just so shocked.

I was prepared for the mixed reviews, what I can't believe is how many
people asked me what my hubby thought. You could tell some were
concerned that Hubby would hate it, but the others were the ones that
made me laugh. Their tone implied that I would need his approval to
get my hair cut this short. I really hope I don't talk about Hubby in
such a way that all those people didn't think he would be anything but
supportive of anything I do. Yes, we have our fights and he can be an
inconsiderate jerk sometimes, but so can I. I may hate him and his
bands at times, but there are just as many times as he hates me and my
job. Its called being married. More then anything we love each other
and support each other.

I don't think I will know his true opinion on my hair for months.
Right now he knows I am too upset and need him to be loving and
compliment the shit out of it, because there really is nothing I can
do about it until it grows out some. So he will continue to let me put
my head on his chest and whine that I want my hair back. He may tease
and say that he is my bitch now that my hair is shorter then his, but
only when I am already laughing.

Damn it, how did this post go from all about me to being about him?
Anyway, I am still going to give it a few weeks for me to get
accustomed to my hair and learn to do something with it, and then
maybe I will feel brave enough to post a shot of the front. I will
make a decision when I am not PMSy. Now where did that chocolate go?

--
Sent from my mobile device

A Special Thank You

It occurred to me that I have blogged a lot about my kids, work, my hair, etc, but failed at the most important post. A few months back I wrote a post about work (yes, I see you're shocked) and asked for help. That request was answered as it always is by a special blogger, Barista at Saved By The Brew. She gave me great advice. It has been in the back of my mind since and I don't think I would be considered for the postions I am without it.


She helped me find a way to relate and work well with my boss. The requested lunch never happened but we are at each others desks constantly now, talking about the department, bouncing ideas off each other, and asking each other for help.

Barista has also been my biggest supporter. She always leaves me funny or thought provoking comments, or just a comment to let me know that some one other then me is reading my drivel. I know others are out there lurking, and that is okay to. Have you read her blog yet? Well why the hell not? She is fabulous! She gives little updates through out the day that are just what you need when you need a quick break. She writes with a honesty that leaves me in awe. Her unique way of writing about everyday life will leave you eagerly awaiting her next post.

That's not enough for you? Well she also bakes the most awesome cupcakes. I swear I am jealous of all the people who live in Atlanta and can have her cupcakes whenever they want. Honestly, I have asked my boss on several occasions to send me down to our warehouse there just so I have an excuse to go down where I can get my hands on her cupcakes. Okay, I totally didn't mean that last sentance the way it sounded. I do want cupcakes in all her tempting flavors though.

So while I don't have a great shiny award that you can post on your blog, I do want to say thank you. Thank you for being here, for reading my blog, writing your blog, and being the fabulous person you are. You have made a great impact in my life. You are a very special person and I feel truely blessed by knowing you. I look forward to reading about you finding the wonderful and special man who deserves you and will give you the babies you will be an awesome mother to. How could I not also mention I want to be the first to know when you find a way to ship your cupcakes!!!!

It's Gone

I didn't make it to my appointment on time, but my hair is still gone.

Here is a before picture from about a month and a half ago.

Long and flowing

We spent some time pouring over books discussing different styles. I wanted something wash and go with a minimum of fuss. Something that would suit my natural curls. A style that would look good messy or sleek. A little above my shoulders, I don't think I look good with the short pixie look. She partitioned my hair off into five different pony tails so she could take 12 inches off on each side.

Here are the pony tails that were cut.

The cuts were made; there was no turning back.

They don't look like much laying there. It is hard to imagine that I was completely surrounded when I wore my hair down. We chatted as she cut and styled. I sat in her chair for over an hour as she fussed, measured and snipped at the back. The more she cut the less I talked. I finally couldn't take it anymore and asked her to stop with the back and to please do something with the front and sides. I kept wondering why I didn't wait for my normal stylist, another day or two wouldn't have killed me. She knows me, my hair, and the styles I like. I was willing to give this girl a chance though.

Finally she was done cutting and I was reserving judgment until I could see the final style. She grabbed her round brush and blow dryer and went to work. I told her that I was going to post pictures on my blog of before and after. She understood and said she would give me an easy cute style that while I might not do everyday, is good for when I want to do something a little different. Perfect.

A little mousse, okay I can handle that. A little wax, maybe not something I would do every day, but okay. A little pomade, this getting a bit much don't you think? I was going to have her take the after picture in the salon because it never looks the same once you put your coat on and drive home. Then she turned me around for the reveal.

I swear I could have submitted a picture to the Bumpits and they would have called me within seconds of receiving it. Problem was I didn't have anything in my hair to make it that damn poofy. Not the style I was looking for. I couldn't help fingering it, trying to push it down a little and immediately wanted to wash my hand. My hair felt gross!

Walk in the door and Hubby being the wonderful supportive hubby, told me that he liked it. I took off my coat and ran upstairs to wash the crap out of my hair. I had to see if I could style it into something a little more me. I felt much better when my hair was once again clean and I could stand to touch it again.

Hope you are ready, here is the after shot.

No, that is not a picture of my son. My reaction was OMFG!!!

My first reaction is that I hate it, it is way way shorter then I said she could. I am going to give it a few days before I really make a judgment though. Not that there is much I can do about it now. I might go in to have my normal stylist see if she can do anything to make the front and sides match the back a little more, but anything else will have to wait a while. I am going to be shocking people and myself for weeks to come either way.

Extra points to Hubby who keeps telling me how cute it looks, and how it shows off my beautiful bone structure. I know he is saying it because it is part of his hubby duties, but he says it and says it often, so he gets the extra credit.

Jammies and Coffee Make My World Spin

Yesterday was a lost day. You know those days where you are busy all
day but get nothing accomplished? Yeah, that was my day.

I swear I did like five loads of laundry, cooked a million times,
cleaned up toys time and time again, and dealt with tantrums. I look
around this morning and you can't tell I did anything yesterday. There
are still toys all over the place, laundry to be done, meals to cook,
tantrums to deal with. To add to that, I was so busy yesterday I never
got a chance to work or get my hair cut. So those two things will be
top of my list today. My salon opens at ten, and I have an appointment
to be there when they open.

Angel Cakes had a complete melt down last night because her 'absolute
favorite' jammies no longer fit. They haven't fit for over a year, but
last night it was the end of the world. She loves the 'slidey' type,
the one piece that have slipper feet and zip up. Her favorite ones are
pink and have little puppies on them. I promised that I would go to
the store today to look to see if they have them in her current size.
During the end of the conversation about jammies (after the promise to
buy new ones) she also asked if we could go see Aunt Baby Girl and her
baby. And when we go, can we stop at the coffee and doughnut place?
Can she get a cup of water and ice? And maybe see if they have the
little munchkins that she like? Oh, I can get a cup of coffee also. I
love how she added the coffee to justify the trip; she knows the way
to Mommy's heart.

I just want to throw in here that I know I coddle my kids. I know I
give in too easy sometimes, but don't care. I love that my kids will
come running to me through the day and ask to be picked up and know
that I will almost every time. They climb on my lap almost the minute
I sit down (after they ask of course) and then are gone again a few
seconds later. I love those little stolen hugs, kisses, and snuggles
through the day. That they feel secure in my love and know that I will
always be there when they need or want me is the most important thing
to me.

There is only a few short months for Angel Cakes and one year for
Buckaroo before I send them off to school and they will have to learn
that not everything turns out perfectly like in the movies. They will
have to cope with the little disappointments that can happen and I
want them to know I will always be there. That no matter what, they
can always come to me with their problems and I will always listen,
dry their tears, help them understand, and maybe find a better way. I
know that I won't be able to fix everything for them, but that isn't
going to stop me from trying. When I can do something as small as
looking for new jammies (which she needs anyway) I will do it every
time. There are enough times that I say no, so I rejoice in the times
I can say yes.

It's time to wake up Hubby so I can shower and get to my appointment
on time. Here's hoping things go the way they are supposed to and I
can post before and after pictures in a little while.

--
Sent from my mobile device