What Do You Mean They Don't Come With Manual!?

I was prepared to never have a night sleep again. Dirty diaper? Kids
puking? I can handle that without batting an eye. Trips to the
emergency room? Yep, I got the tee shirt. I got through the first five
years without asking for a manual. I got cocky. I thought I could
handle anything. So my kids decided to take me down a peg.

Last night as I was sorting through Buckaroo's clothes and Angel Cakes
asked me, 'Mommy, what does early mean?' Easy question to anwser
right? If you said yes, you have never tried to explain it to a five
year old with no sense of time. It took me three tries to come up with
an example she could understand. She finally got it when I said that
if I say she will get a bath after dinner, then give her a bath before
dinner, that she got her bath early.

This morning I was putting on my socks and shoes before putting on
Buckaroo's jammies when he woke up. He looked over at me and said,
'Mommy, my pee pee grew!' And pulled down his underpants to show me
his morning friend. I was at a loss. What do you say to a three year
old? He understands that is private, and that we don't show it off,
but he was just being three and trying to understand the wonder of
this.

He has also reached the why phase. I think Angel Cakes handled it best
this morning when he asked why for the fifth time.

AC: Hey! It's foggy today.

Me: Yes, it is.

Buck: Why is it froggy out?

AC: Not froggy, it's foggy.

Buck: Why is it foggy? Sissy, why do you like the fog?

AC: Because it makes it look pretty.

Buck: But why? You can't see the moon. I like the moon. Why do you
like the frog?

AC: *exasperated* Because I just do.

Buck: But why is it froggy?

Me: Well it is getting warmer and the snow melting causes the fog.

Buck: The fog causes the snow to melt?

Me: No, the snow melting causes the fog.

AC: I saw a movie and it had fog in it.

Me: You did? What happened in the fog?

AC: Well, it was a scooby movie. And it was about the legend of a
pirate called Red Beard.

Me: Really? What happened?

AC: They caught him, but he really wasn't Red Beard's ghost.

Me: Oh? Who was it?

AC: Just a guy who liked to dress up and scare kids.

Me: That's not very nice.

AC: No, it wasn't. He was a bad man. He went to jail.

At this point we pulled up to Daycare and I sighed in relief. That
was a lot of talking for a two minute drive at 6 AM with not even a
sip of coffee.

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