More Bitching About Work; But Help Needed

I swear my boss is unmedicated bipolar. I can't think of another way to understand or explain her behavior. Everyone in the department has come to understand she has her moods.

One day she will love you and be your best friend, the next it feels like if you ask her about how the traffic was the night before because we stayed very late you are bothering her.

One day she will micro manage to the Nth degree, and want to be consulted on everything, and others, well you know your job so just do it.

Her idea for the direction of the department and expectations of us also change daily.
Monday night she told me that another associate would start taking responsibility for training the temps we are bringing in because I have too much on my plate to and she wants to train me on other things. I celebrated! Its not that I mind trainging, but I do have other things to do.

Tuesday morning with no explaination she tells me that starting Wednesday I would be training the new temp we interviewed and three people from another department that will be helping us get caught up. WTF?

I understand she is under a lot of pressure, and losing Debbie was a huge blow to her both professionally and personally.

Debbie was the one person pretty current on all things system related. I have found a lot of things that I shared with Debbie and the department to make the departments daily jobs easier. Sandie was too busy to learn and that is what she had Debbie for.

Sandie and I both tested everything on the system before the conversion and haven't done half of the things again since the conversion. Like it happens with every system converstion, things have changed. Since Debbie passed, she needs to know these things and has said as much.

We are being audited full scale for the first time on the new system. She needs to know the ins and outs of getting the information since I am busy training and can't devote my time and attention to this as I normally would. During the quarterly audits I drop everything and work exclusively with the auditors. Because I am training I can't this time and she has assumed this responsibility.

Since I am the one that wrote the manuals for all our jobs, I understand I am a logical choice to do the trainging for the new temps. I also understand that I am a logical choice to train as her back up since Debbie is gone. But I can't do both at the same time!

Knowing these things weigh heavy on her, knowing our schedules, and that we both normally eat lunch at our desks, I suggested we do a couple working lunches to share and pool our knoweledge. You would think I asked for her first born. Although, she would probably give him and his bills willingly.

How can the department function like this? Not well I can tell you. The associates don't know which way to turn because it changes from moment to moment. So they turn to me. I don't have as much time as I would like to help them within the confines of my job and It also puts me in the uncomfortable position between her and the department. Which I don't want and isn't helpful or healthy for any of us.

How do I address this with her when she reacts so badly to a friendly invitation to a working lunch? I hold her in very high regard and like her both professionally and personally, but something has got to give!

Any suggestions you have would be greatly appreciated. It feels like the department is coming apart at the seams and I am out of ways to patch the holes.