Never Alone

The only time I have with my thoughts is when I am in the car making
the million mile drive to or from work. Any other time involves being
followed, hearing my name shouted, anwsering all sorts of questions,
or trying to run away, which leads us right back to the followed. I
once thought in my post partium induced delerium that I thought I
would find a small measure of peace and quiet time at work. Just an
another example of what all those happy hormones can do to you.

I also had grand delusions about being alone in the bathroom at some
point again. I have come to understand this will never happen again.
You leave those days behind the moment you give birth. Not even at
work is this possible. They either follow me into the bathroom or come
in and call my name to track me down. Yes, this really is a corporate
office. If I happen to be working from home for the day and everyone
is either at work or Daycare; the damn cat will follow me in to whine
at me while I have no choice but to be a captive audience. This is my
lot in life and I have come to accept it for the most part.

Was I surprised when Buckaroo came trailing into the master bath when
I was getting ready to take a shower? No, this is part of that
acceptance I was talking about. I just went about my business while he
dragged all the pillows off my bed and ran to get his blanket so he
could be comfortable as he waited between the tub and the shower for
me to finish. I had just stepped into the shower when I heard 'Mom,
it's taking a long time.' I just laughed as I stepped under the spray.

Buckaroo was done waiting in his nest of pillows and blankets so went
off to get the toys from his bathtub to play with in mine. We had
little converstions as he ran in and out bring all his toys. Once all
the toys were in my tub he wanted a bath. I told him over the curtain
that he would get a bath in his tub when I was done with mine. More
little snips of conversation as he had to run in and out again while
bringing all his toys back to his bathroom.

I was putting the conditioner in my hair when Angel Cakes had to join
the party to tell me brother broke something glass in their sink. I
told her to tell Daddy who was downstairs about this recent
development since I was in the shower. Out she runs calling for Daddy.
A few minutes later Hubby comes in to tell me that Buckaroo broke the
porcelain cup to my dragonfly bathroom set. Why it was in the kids
bathroom is beyond me, but is is now broken. Wonderful! Wash my face
and I am finally done with my shower. Angel Cakes hands me my towel
and I get out. That was a long twenty minutes.

--
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Ready for Whiplash?

So I feel like it is time to introduce you to the love affair that
Hubby has with his music. Please grab some pain killers, fasten your
seatbelts, and keep your arms and head inside at all times. I
apologize in advance, but assume no responsible for any headache or
whiplash you suffer by reading this. If by some chance this post makes
your head explode, I will send s really nice arrangement to your
family. If I thought it would make it easier to understand I would
use the bands real names I would, but trust me is wouldn't make it any
less confusing. So I am going to refer to the bands only by their
initials.

Hubby is currently in three bands. Yes, you read that right three.
There is Band A (seriously, I can never remember the name so it is
Band A) Band TS is his second band and is just getting off the ground.
Band C (I don't know if it even has a name) is a band of proffesional
musicans who only book corporate gigs or weddings.

Band A has been an area band for a few years and he was asked to join
when the former lead guitar player left. He has been with them for
about 6 months or so and they play two or three shows a month. They
practice every Tuesday night Band TS was formed with the lead singer
of Band S (which Hubby was in) that self destructed after she turned
down an opportunity to go to Nashville to record a demo for a major
label. She has a young son (a few months old at the time of the offer)
that she was reluctant to put through that craziness. They just got
the last person in and are looking to book about one show a month They
practice every Monday night. Band C is a loose assocation that plays
together whenever they have a show, no practice because it is all
songs they could play in their sleep.

He was in two (I think it was only two) other bands during the last
year and is no longer with them. Band S self destructed after they won
the New Band Of The Year from the Area Music Industry and the singer
turned down the demo offer. Band UKW he was with for a few years and
they used to practice at our house. He left because of personality
conflicts with the singer and they just weren't booking many shows. I
was not sorry. No more way too loud practies while I was trying to
work or the kids were trying to nap.

Do you have a splitting headache yet? No? Ok, well let's continue then.

He has had several offers in the past few months from other bands. One
offer came from Band SH. When we first started dating, he dreamed of
playing with them. They were an up and coming band and he thought it
would be the perfect band to get back into the music screen again and
he could go places with them. When they called, he turned them down.
He wasn't willing to leave his current bands for what he now sees as a
stagnant band.

Enter Band TM. This is the one that is on the edge of going National,
but currently play about a five state radious consistently. There
every move is coordinated and approved through the agent. They have
shows almost every Friday and Saturday night. The other members of the
band don't have day jobs because they don't need to. They never have
practice because they don't need to. He sent his demo to them 4 months
ago and never heard anything. He was introduced to them in person a
few weeks ago when they played at our local bar\club. Remember? Yeah,
them.

Well they emailed him the other night and the agent called him today.
He is going out next week to practice with them, but he is booked for
three shows in March with them!!!! They didn't promise anything past
that since they haven't played with him yet, but OMG!!!! All the shows
are Friday nights. One of the shows is about 200 miles south of us.
Since they won't be done playing until 2:30 AM, the agent has arranged
for a hotel for the night, completely paid for of course. If things
work out with TM he will quit the other bands, both because he will be
under contract and he wouldn't have the time.

He was conflicted about the email because there weren't any details,
and he has come to think of the singer in Band TS as like a sister. He
hates to leave her when the project they dreamed up together is just
getting off the ground, but how can he refuse this offer?

Things are definitely looking good and it seems like all the hours and
nights away are starting to pay off. I couldn't be happier for him
since I know this has been his dream. A dream he wasn't free to
concentrate on during his prior marraige. For all that I bitch and
complain about his bands, it is a dream I have always tried to
support. So think good thoughts for him that the next month goes well.

--
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Conversation with Angel Cakes

The following conversation took place tonight with Angel Cakes.

AC: Mommy! I got to be a mommy today.

Me: You did?

AC: Yep. Daycare Lady had to go downstairs and I got to watch the baby
and she didn't even cry! (The baby is 18 months old.)

Me: Wow!

AC: Yeah, she had a string with a balloon tied to her ear and she
pulled on it and I think she tore her ear a little.

Me: Why did she have a string with a balloon tied to her ear?

AC: Because she has holes in her ears with hoops.

Me: *stern voice* Why did she have a string with a balloon tied to her ear?

AC: Well the air was coming out.

Me: *seriously concerned now* Who tied it to her ear?

AC: Daycare Lady's daughter.

Me: Did she get in trouble? That is really dangerous and you should
never do that. Baby could get really hurt.

AC: No, she didn't get in trouble.

Me: *Thinking yeah, that is pretty much par for the course* Well that
was really naughty.

AC: You are a better mommy then her. She would have been in really big
trouble if you were her Mommy.

Me: Yes, she would have.

AC: If you were Daycare Lady you would have a lot of kids.

Me: Yep.

AC: You would have Daycare Lady's daughter and son, me, and brother.
And me and her daughter could be like twins. We both have curly hair
and when I get older you won't be able to tell us apart. (Daycare
Lady's kids are 9 or 10 year old twins.)

Gotta love the twists and turns a conversation with a five year old
takes. Kinda reminds of of some bloggers I know and love. :)

--
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It's Potty Time

We don't have the over or under fight in my house anymore. Instead you
hear phrases like 'Bring toilet paper with you.' This is one of the
most commonly heard phrases around my house followed closely with
'Mom, Can you bring me some toilet paper please?'

No, we don't expect people to bring toilet paper when they come visit.
We are more then happy to supply it. We just don't keep toilet paper
in the bathroom anymore. After walking into the bathroom to an
overflowing toilet more times then I care to remember in the last
three months, this is what we resort to. My house is only 4 years old
and it has had enough toilet paper shoved down its drain for 50 years.
I only wish I was kidding. I couldn't understand why I was having to
buy a 12 pack of toilet paper every two weeks. There are only four of
us, we are gone most of the week, how do we go through so much toilet
paper? My kids think it takes half a roll of toilet paper to get clean
after going pee.

What upsets me so much is they just keep doing it and don't tell me.
They just keep trying to flush the toilet and I am only alerted to the
problem when I see the water on the floor heading to the hallway. So
now if they go to the bathroom they have to ask for toilet paper. I
HATE it!!!! My kids are too smart and too old for this, but we are at
our wits end. We have tried talking to them, putting them in the
naughty corner, taking away toys, and even tried having me standing in
there to make sure they don't use too much. Everything will be fine
for a few days or maybe a week, and we think we are past it, and then
it happens again.

There is just something about waking up in the middle of the night
when you really have to pee and finding the toilet full of water and
ready to overflow to start your day. Thankfully we have two other
bathrooms that haven't experianced this phenomenon. We know we are
going to have to bring a plumber in just to make sure there are no
clogs in the drain even if we don't have any more overflowing toilets
for the next year, but I would prefer it not to be an emergency call.

Don't worry, we intend on having the plumber out real soon so you
don't have to worry that if you flush it might overflow, and we put
toilet paper in the bathrooms when we have company so if you visit you
won't have to beg for toilet paper before you go. Unless you are my
sister in law who flooded my toilet in my apartment almost 8 years
ago; you, I still don't trust.

--
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Angel Cakes On Babies

Following is a conversation I had with Angel Cakes this morning.

AC: Mommy, if Kitty had babies we could give them away.

Me: Yes we could.

AC: Why didn't you let Kitty have babies?

Me: Well we would need a Daddy kitty, and we don't have a Daddy kitty.

AC: Well you know Angel,
Daycare Lady's white dog? She's a girl. And she had babies for like
one day and then Daycare Lady gave them away. :Sad face: And Sandy
Daycare Lady big tan dog? Well, she's a girl.

Me: Yes, they are.

AC: Well since Angel had babies and they are both girls, you don't
really need to have a Daddy dog to have babies.

And that kid logic is the perfect way to start a lazy Sunday morning.

--
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I'm Fat

I place the blame squarely on the shoulders of my gas station where it
rightfully belongs. Yep, the muffin top hanging over my pants is not a
result of my lack of will power or my inactivity. It is Lance's fault
for introducing me to the Vienna Cream Danish.

Seriously they are evil. I bought one on a whim a few months back. I
took a bite out of its flaky crust and the slightly sweet creamy
filling exploded on my tounge. I was hooked. I had to have more. One
day against my better judgement, I read the nutritional information on
the back and then wished I hadn't. These amazing danishes have 240
calories. Oh wait, that is for half of it. This means I either have to
develop some will power or share the other half with a friend, and let
me tell you that sweet goodness is all mine! So I actually ignored
them for a few days.

Then they started putting them in a basket right by the coffee pots.
Seriously, how can I ignore them when they are right next my love, my
lifeblood, my reason for getting my ass out of the house in the
morning? Now I know they are out to get me and being fat is all Lance
and Pat's fault. I try to tell them they are mean and sadistic but
they just smile and laugh because they know I will be in tomorrow to
get my fix. If by some miracle I find a way to ignore the danishes,
they know I will still be in every morning to get the amazing
addiction that truely rules and powers my world.

--
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Naught corners are the place to be

I am not cheating today, I am giving you a special post here and I put a different one on my other blog because I am such a giver. :)

If you are wondering my about my other blog address you will have to do what Barista did and ask nicely. I will send you a link through email.

In other and more interesting news.
Buckaroo has been getting into trouble at Daycare lately. He seems to be saying all the four letter words that tend to slip out of grown ups mouths when there are young impressionable kids around to parrot them back later.

He went to the corner today for saying Shit constantly. When Daycare lady talked to him about it the following conversation ensued:

Daycare: That is a very naughty word. You have to go to the corner for saying that.
Buckaroo: I know. I get in trouble for saying it at home to.
Daycare: So why do you keep saying it if you know it is naughty?
Buckaroo: Because it's fun to say.
And then he went to the corner with a smirk on his face.

Yeah, I am in big big trouble come the teenage years. My kids are going to make me look like I was an honor student which I know you will be shocked to find out I was not. :)